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[Make sure to read Daniel Greenfield’s contributions in Jamie Glazov’s new book: Barack Obama’s True Legacy: How He Transformed America.]
“Do you expect me to talk?” No, I expect you to go woke.”
Earlier this year word came that Ian Fleming Publications Ltd, which controls the rights to the deceased author’s novels, hired sensitivity readers to go through his books and purge anything that might offend the souls who write angry letters to the BBC over reruns of Fawlty Towers. (The ‘war’ must forever go unmentioned as ‘The Germans’ episode was pulled by the BBC.)
The newly republished novels warn those with thin skin looking for politically correct adventures that, “this book was written at a time when terms and attitudes which might be considered offensive by modern readers were commonplace.” Various awkward racial references had been scrubbed away leaving a bowdlerized Bond that could be safely read in any safe space.
Now that old Bond is dead, a new woke Bond can safely rise. Even though Ian Fleming has been dead since 1964, the estate turned to other authors to prime the giant money pump. Initially new Bond novels were written by prestigious writers like Kingsley Amis or former military men like John Gardner, but in more recent years turned to anyone willing to write woke for cash.
The latest of these come from Kim Sherwood, a University of Edinburgh lecturer who is interested in “women’s stories” and was authorized to write a feminist James Bond trilogy.
How do you write a feminist trilogy around one of the least feminist fictional characters around?
Easy, get rid of him.
Sherwood’s feminist trilogy of Bond novels has the superspy go missing while she invents new zeroes to take his place. Sherwood’s “feminist perspective” on James Bond gets rid of the white man and offers an “ensemble cast of heroes who we can all identify with.”
Ian Fleming Publications Ltd and Sherwood might want to look back at how that gimmick worked for the Pink Panther movies made after the death of Peter Sellers. But Bond didn’t actually die, he’s just been canceled. When he’s not turning woke, he’s just making way.
“I want to bring a feminist perspective to the canon,” Sherwood pitched, to “create a space for all of us to be heroes.” The technical term for that is a “Mary Sue” character. But do female readers of the Bond novels really want to be superspies, gunning down villains and surviving torture?
Ready or not, Sherwood debuted the new zeroes who prioritize “inclusivity, female heroes, and heroes of colour” including a black gay disabled 004 and a Pakistani Muslim 009.
Sid Bashir, the Muslim replacement for James Bond, remembers standing by his mother’s side at an Islamic cultural fair under a banner reading, “Don’t Panic, I’m Islamic.” Another scene quotes the Koran and has Bashir saying, “May Allah bless your family.”
“I was born poor, black and gay, I know about hard times,” 004 who, it is important to note, is black and gay says. This isn’t just bad writing, it reads like a right-wing parody of wokeness.
In the new feminist novels, Miss Moneypenny has been promoted, Q has been replaced by a computer, and Bond by a woman, a black man and a Muslim man.
One scene takes place in a police station overrun by a leftist mob where “feminists, anarchists”, socialists and advocates for climate justice” have turned it into an “anti-capitalist party center.”
This is the woke utopia. Inclusivity means erasing everyone who doesn’t fit into this leftist vision of the ideal society.
“Bond has always been a fantasy, but it’s a fantasy that can reflect us and shape us and I’m so excited to get to be part of that for a contemporary world,” Kim Sherwood argued.
The thing about fantasies is that they have to be grounded in something. The old Bond was a series of fantasies grounded in the Cold War and some espionage experience by Fleming, but wokeness is already a fantasy and Bond authors no longer know anything except politics.
Politics in Bond novels used to be subtext, but now it’s text.
Earlier this year, Ian Fleming Publications Ltd rushed to publication a new novel, On His Majesty’s Secret Service, to mark Charles III’s coronation. Every monarch gets the 007 writer that he or she deserves. Queen Liz got Fleming while King Charlie has to make do with Charlie Higson, a comedian, who famously accused Winston Churchill of being secretly gay.
The Bond novel celebrated Charlie’s coronation, dubbed “King Charles the Woke”, by going up against COVID conspiracists, immigration opponents, and critics of Black Lives Matter and the transgender movement who asked things like “What are we going to do about the Muslims?”
Conservatives are a pretty reliable demographic for James Bond novels, but much like the film industry, publishing is making it clear that it not only doesn’t want them as writers, but even as readers. That is even more true of the Big 5 publishing industry in the United States.
If Ian Fleming, the actual Bond author, were alive today, he would be one of the villains. Fleming was anti-union, opposed to the welfare state and a conservative. But the old Bond novels upheld the primacy of Britain while in the new woke novels, the touchstones are no longer patriotism and country, but diversity.
“Bond was struck by something. It was a long while since he’d been at any kind of function that was almost exclusively full of men. It felt strange. There was not even a pretence at diversity here. Athelstan hadn’t been the least bit concerned about ensuring that half of the people he’d hired to carry out his coup should be women, or non-white, or disabled,” the novel has him say.
Fortunately, the new Bond novels more than make up for it with women, non-white and disabled superspies who battle the forces of ignorance and skepticism about mutilating children.
Heroically they penetrate super-secret fortresses and uncover plots to say politically incorrect things on social media after Islamic terrorist attacks. And they always take time out to remind you of their suffering as black, gay, disabled Pakistani Muslims who are the real victims.
Who needs Bond, James Bond, when we’ve got Victim, Woke Victim?
I lived in East Africa when I was a kid. The cinemas would show Bond movies from every era (reviving Sean Connery and later). My family went to many of these showings. The local black Africans LOOOVED James Bond movies. We once drove past a line that ran down a long sidewalk for a Connery 007 movie. Easily 90% of the ticket buyers were black Africans (unlike the crowd for FIDDLER ON THE ROOF). Make of that what you will.
“I want to bring a feminist perspective to the canon,” Time to turn the tables. How about bringing a cannon to the Marxist femunist perspective.
How about they suck a bag of camel jockey dicks? Fucking Chomos.
I bet they like it up the ass.
Sounds simply terrible, and may all this die the woke death best suited for trash.
In the present age, satire is becoming more and more difficult. How can it hope to be goofier than reality?
It can’t.
Satire that describes leftist social dysfunction is nearly pointless because it either describes what’s going on or predicts what will shortly take place.
One of my favorite pieces is “Masters and Donkeys” by Sarah Honig. I think of it more as sardonic humor. It pictures the “Masters” (George Mitchell and Charlie Rose) riding the Israeli donkey around, whacking it with a stick to get it to behave.
Fawlty Towers. I used to watch that. John Cleese is a wanker but he is a good actor. There was some network on TVs back in the 70s that played a lot of British shows. I don’t remember what the alternate network to the regular stuff was called because I may be senile but I used to laugh at that shit. It was something that was an alternative to regular TV. I grew up up in southern California so we had everything.
Tragic. Great literature of the genre (at least for teenage boys) ruined.
I made the mistake in school of taking French instead of Spanish (which would have been much more useful), thinking that France was an up and coming power, while Spain was dying out 🙂 But at least I got to read all the James Bond novels in French class 🙂
I have a 15,000 page collection of Sir Richard Francis Burton that I got cheap online. They also had a cancel culture warning before his book on travels through Indian country in the Wild West of USA during 1860 (one year before the American Civil War started). But Burton’s brutally honest depiction of the Indians is actually the best I’ve seen, gives one a feeling for what it must have been like. I particularly liked hs depiction of a shrivelled up, aging Indian squaw, after she had been through a lifetime of neglect and abuse, by her husband and other Indians. Burton said there was nothing so diabolical as the enmity of such a squaw.
15,000 pages? You’ve read more of his work than I ever did. To be honest, I read his stuff back when I was a teen. That’s when I did most of my reading.
I do remember his description of American court judges. He wasn’t over kind. And his meeting with Brigham Young was interesting.
Oh, and you should read the “River World” novels and short stories by Philip Jose Farmer. Burton is the main protagonist and the first story starts with his death in real life. Good stuff, although I thought the River world was a boring place except for the people. It had everybody there, even fictional characters like Cyrano De’Bergerac. Burton beat him in a saber duel. 🙂 He was a swordsman, you know. A very cool guy.
Oh, and the movie “Mountains of the Moon” about Burton and Speke’s journey to find the source of the Nile is very good. Patrick Bergan and Ian Glenn. Good stuff. My sister said Bergan was handsome. Glenn is too, although his character was portrayed realistically as possibly gay.
Just like that we have gone in about 350 years from the blind Milton’s “Paradise Lost” to “Earth Lost” by the none so blind as those who will not see.
Pakistani moslem spy 00911.
Part of the destruction of our culture and heritage.
At least this fish will rot from the head first: just look at what the Gettys have spawned.
oh, thats awful but right on the mark. muslim spy double091101
After reading about the Euro Narco-State, this ‘scrublit’ update is comic relief.
Sherwood says:
“ [This is an] ensemble cast of heroes who we can all identify with”.
WHAT?!?!
Her grammar is
Atr-00-tious!!!!!
At least say it correctly –
It’s an “ensemble cast of heroes with whom we all can identify”.
As to composition, sleek it down and just say a “cast with whom we identify”.
But, this is interesting: trimming the fat reveals that the notion behind the thought is false. She needn’t have written that sentence at all ( I know, ‘at all’ is redundant; but it’s for emphasis) because audiences don’t want to identify. They want to be entertained.
How quaint that her name is Sherwood, as in Sherwood Forest, home of Errol Flynn, I mean Robin Hood.
Pardon me:
My spelling error is atrocious!!
Your letter is one of the best, I’ve read, in a long time.
I look forward to a woke rewrite of the Flashman novels.
She’s a feminist telling inclusive stories, so she doesn’t need to know how to write.
This woke Bond will probably be required reading, otherwise it would die the death it deserves.
I know the perfect library for these new Bond novels: the bin.
aka the circular filing cabinet
Nothings Sacred anymore in the grubby hands of the PC Crowd of Idiots
I haven’t seen this before but it does sound like James has truly been “shaken not stirred.”
Moriarty has won.
you do know professor Moriarty wan’t a Bond character, Right? A read all Flemings novels.
He was a character in the Movie “The Ministry of ungentlemanly warfare.” he actually did serve in World War Two.
I read most all of Arthur Conan Doyle’s novels, too.
“Woke James Bond Novels Replace Him With Disabled Black Gay Superspy’: And don’t forget to make him an Afghani female, as well. Does that cover all the beset minorities adequately? Blimey, but keeping up with all these ‘political niceties is soooo bloody exhausting! :((
In a similar move, Marvel Comics made Hercules a Gaylord recently. He was the first Marvel character I know of who had his sex life portrayed (not explicitly,) and he was randy as fuck. He fucked every chick in the comics, even Namora. And then they had him fagging off with Marvel Boy, who likewise was hetero up until he wasn’t. The writer, Al Ewing has a weird preoccupation with gay and tranny stuff.
I’m so sick of this shit.
A Gay Pakistani? In an Islamic country? Wouldn’t that qualify him to become a speed bump under an army truck?
There’s a non-gay Pakistani. Plus a black gay Jamaican.
Very super diverse
This is simply “sick minded”.
Here we go again. Would you go see and pay for a movie where James Bond was replaced with a woke feminist James Bond?
I don’t mind alternate versions of books and movies. Example; The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie R. King. About a teenage girl who becomes Sherlock Holmes apprentice. Forced myself to read this first book. Have since read the whole series.
They’ve been pushing the idea of a black or female Bond for a while. It’ll probably happen at some point unless this cultural insanity ends.
And black Santa Claus.
The franchise is choosing to destroy itself. NO one is going to watch this crap. The appeal of the character is for males to live vicariously through Bond as we live ordinary lives wishing we were as tough, charismatic, crafty and wise as Bond. Change that character and red blooded males have no reason to watch and the alphabettors won’t watch either. It’s a good thing we still have all the old Movies (especially with Sean Connery) to still enjoy.
I remember the Bond movies with Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and Pierce Brosnan. These woke individuals are no match for the strength and cunning of 007. The intrigue, characters, exciting scenes, the romance and beauty of the women that were involved with 007 made the Bond movies interesting and exciting to many people, and why they were so popular. These actors will be very hard to replace in everyone’s minds, what a Great Era.
there is a simple solution to their drivel , give them the bud light treatment . nothing is so effective as hitting them in the pocket . you need to have a long memory and do it for as long as they continue to treat you with woke contempt .
The naughty children who run the British Bolshevik Collective destroyed one of its most successful creations of all time, Dr Who, by appeasing the feminazis.
I was a fan for decades, enjoying each of the Doctor’s (male) transformations. The latest, a female, will be the last ever made. Another great British cultural icon destroyed by Woke.
How true! I was a Dr. Who fan for years. After two or three episodes with the female Doctor, I said “HELL NOOO!” A “diverse” supporting cast, what appeared to be abandonment of many of the long running themes and woke inferences throughout was torture to watch. If I recall correctly, the long-time male writers and producers retired, quit or were replaced by women. Not to say there aren’t capable females but these women, much like this Sherwood lady, took a shit on what was once a great and long running program.
What are the odds that the next American astronaut to walk in the moon will be a disabled black lesbian muslim?
Zero………………….
I guess those who wish to change films books and characters like Bond realize that they do so because they cant come up with anything original and so must copy and then change everything they despise while being so ignorant of the fact that it has been the Caucasian Male that created, invented and discovered most of the things these ”woke” morons use in their daily life and so can only copy and not invent, create or discover on their own merit.
A generation with the World in the palm of their hands that they look at every day while walking down the street and yet appear to be dumb as a box of rocks
This phenomenon of Leftist appropriation of popular, deceased writers’ works, in order to promote their obnoxious and selfish Leftist political views and agenda, is patently offensive and obnoxious.
Call this phenomenon what it plainly is — a crass act of grave-robbing and artistic desecration. Stealing beloved characters created by deceased writers is in vogue because these activists — so-called “writers” — are too stupid and too lacking in talent to contrive their own characters.
The Left could ruin your wet dream if they had a program in place. We need to revolt against the Communists/Socialists/Anarchists/BLM/Antifa/OA, and the rest of their ilk. They want a culture war, and I think we should acquiesce and give them what they want.
Bet these will sell like Obama’s “How to be Macho.”
Look how Hollywood messed up three Classic kids books Cat in the Hat, Winnie the Pooh and Peter Rabbit with its Adult Humor and Violence
I remember laughing out loud after hearing Michael Savage say that “liberalism is a mental disorder.” I’m not laughing anymore. While leaders are evil, what other conclusion could we draw with the voters?