1. Come to Greece

2. Hang around wailing at any available camera

3. Get paid $2,225 to go home

4. Have 100,000 more show up to collect their $2,225 EU checks

But the Europeans have forgotten that when you pay danegeld, you never get rid of the Dane. And the Danes have forgotten it too. So the only solution to the mass invasion of Syrians, Iraqis, Pakistanis, etc, orchestrated by Turkey’s Islamist regime, is to bribe them.

That means writing some big checks to Erdogan in his palace in Turkey and smaller checks to any of the migrants.

The EU says it will pay €2,000 (£1,770; $2,225) each to migrants in overcrowded camps on the Greek islands willing to go back to their home countries.

EU Home Affairs Commissioner Ylva Johansson announced the scheme in Athens on Thursday. It was agreed with the Greek government.

She said it was temporary – open for one month only – and only for migrants who arrived before 1 January.

Until it’s not. 

And, in any case, such fine details will be lost back home where instead photos of checks will circulate on social media and a new swarm of migrants will head to Europe.