There has recently been some debate over whether Bernie Sanders is qualified to be president.
So The Point’s crack fact checking team has assembled a crack set of facts and investigated the issue. And determined that Bernie Sanders is not qualified to be anything.
Fact 1: Bernie Sanders is not qualified to be a carpenter
He worked some as a carpenter, although “he was a shitty carpenter,” Bloch told me. “His carpentry,” Morrisseau said, “was not going to support him, and didn’t.”…
“He was always poor,” Sandy Baird, another old friend, told me in Burlington.
“Virtually unemployed,” said Nelson, the political science professor at the University of Vermont.
Fact 2: Bernie Sanders is not qualified to be a human being
Sanders took his first bride to live in a maple sugar shack with a dirt floor, and she soon left him. Penniless, he went on unemployment. Then he had a child out of wedlock.
Fact 3: Bernie Sanders admits he is not qualified to make decisions
As Bernie Sanders said, “I don’t quite think I’m qualified to make decisions.”
Fact 4: Bernie Sanders is not qualified to be in Congress
Bernie Sanders has a terrible attendance record and the highlight of his legislative career was renaming two post offices
Fact 5: Bernie Sanders is qualified to be the Democratic Party nominee, because he is the only one of two candidates running who isn’t being investigated by the FBI
Therefore our intrepid Fact Check is forced to conclude that Bernie Sanders is completely unqualified for anything except being the Democratic Party nominee for President of the United States.