I’m joking of course.
Not about getting rid of Isaac Newton. That sort of thing is inevitable until the only historical figure who is a white man left standing in the UK is Karl Marx. But about abolishing gravity. Gravity will still be around, though new “studies” based on the “lived experience” of “intersectional activists” will determine that the idea of gravity is infested with whiteness and that under special circumstances can be waived for the cause of social justice.
Just as in the USSR, Newton’s laws of motion will be attributed to some previously obscure or imaginary leftist figure with the right combination of political and racial identities. And that’s what students will be taught. Of course, the students won’t know anything by that point anyway.
They barely know anything now.
Meanwhile, it’s time to purge old Isaac.
Sir Isaac Newton has been labelled as a potential beneficiary of “colonial-era activity” in draft plans to “decolonise” the engineering curriculum at Sheffield University.
Students learning about the mathematician and scientist’s three laws of motion, the core of modern physics, could see changes in their teaching to explain the “global origins and historical context” of his theories, documents suggest.
The plans form part of the engineering faculty’s efforts to “challenge long-standing conscious and unconscious biases” among students to tackle “Eurocentric” and “white saviour” approaches to science and maths, and promote “inclusive design”.
Much like Soviet engineering students who had to be indoctrinated with Marxism-Leninism, or Chinese students who had to attribute everything to Mao’s Little Red Book, this system will still produce some competent engineers, but increasingly unimaginative ones, while also producing a great many howling incompetents who only know dogma and spend all their time blaming their failures on sabotage by reactionary elements.
That’s a nice way of saying, be careful about hiring them or buying their work products.
Toby Young, general secretary of the Free Speech Union, added: “Newton famously said, ‘If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.’ Everyone studying maths or engineering deserves to stand on Newton’s shoulders so they, too, can see further, regardless of their ethnicity.”
Doesn’t work so well when the ideology’s goal is to blind everyone of all ethnicities.