September 19th was International Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day, a whimsical holiday which we were encouraged to celebrate by using expressions like “Ahoy Matey” and “Avast, ye landlubber!”
But is it really now? I mean, is it happening? Instead of buccaneers like Long John Silver and Captain Kidd, we have pirates like Peg Leg Pelosi and Short on Memory Joe Biden, who want to make us walk the plank into a sea of devalued currency.
For some serious fun, how about a National Lie-Like-a-Democrat Day – which we can celebrate by repeating the biggest whoppers that Democrats regularly tell with a straight face? Backed by their pet poodles in the mainstream media, Democrats tell lies that would put Pinocchio, the Baron von Munchausen and William Jefferson Clinton to shame.
- Our withdrawal from Afghanistan was “extraordinarily successful,” in the words of our Pretend President. And Custer had an extraordinarily successful deployment at Little Bighorn. We left thousands of Americans and allies behind. During our abject evacuation, 13 American personnel died, more than in all of the 2020 fighting in Afghanistan. We surrendered the strategic Bagram Air Base for no apparent reason and made the Taliban a parting gift of 75,000 U.S. military vehicles. POTUS ignored the advice of his top generals to leave a residual force behind. Our withdrawal was a smashing success — from the point of view of the Taliban, ISIS, Iran, China and every other terrorist movement and thug regime in the world.
- White Privilege is the greatest threat to our unity. Thus, it is said that the income gap between whites and blacks is due solely to racism. And factors like the failure of family formation and miserable inner-city schools (foisted on the community by Democrats) are irrelevant. Apparently, the affluence of Japanese-Americans – who were put in detention camps during World War II and barred from owning real estate until 1952 – is due to yellow privilege. In terms of median household income, Indian-Americans, Chinese- Americans, Japanese-Americans, Vietnamese-Americans, Korean-Americans, and Filipino-Americans are all ahead of whites.
- What happened on January 6 was a Trump-inspired insurrection. Throughout the summer of 2020, we saw business districts in flames – looting, arson, murder and assaults on police officers, coordinated by Marxists and anarchists. But that was youthful hijinks compared to serious stuff, like someone putting their feet on Nancy Pelosi’s desk or scaring AOC so badly that she hid in her office. The assistant director of The FBI’s counter-terrorism unit says no guns were recovered after what might more properly be called a disturbance. There were five deaths attributed to the incident – four were medically related. The other was an unarmed demonstrator shot dead by Capitol Police. But the insurrection myth (that the U.S. government was in danger of being overthrown by goofballs taking selfies) is vital to the Democrats’ 2022 prospects. Apparently, when Trump told his supporters to “peacefully protest,” he really meant launch a coup d’etat. At least you could roast marshmallows in the Reichstag fire.
- There is no crisis on our southern border. Haven’t they told you repeatedly that the border is closed – sealed tight as a drum? Which are you going to believe: Their demonstrably false narrative or your lying eyes? The 14,000 Haitians camped near Del Rio, TX. until a few days ago were an optical illusion. The 200,000 illegal aliens reported crossing the border each month are an urban legend. There is no crisis at our southern border. Ask DHS Secretary Mayorkas. Ask Border Czar Harris. Ask the drug cartels and human traffickers. Everybody knows that the best way to keep people from knocking at your door is to put out a welcome mat.
- Voter ID is Jim Crow 2.0. People of color use photo IDs millions of times each day to drive a car, board a plane and purchase cigarettes and alcohol. Democrats want us to show proof of vaccination to enter certain businesses. But they insist limiting voting to those who can establish their identity is a fiendish device designed to keep minorities from voting. Today, this lie is being heavily promoted to advance H.R. 1, the Democrats’ attempt to federalize elections, thus institutionalizing widespread fraud. In reality, voter ID is an impediment to the graveyard vote – an important Democrat constituency.
- Transgenderism is real. Yes, there are men who think they’re women and women who think they’re men. But the sex you were born with is the sex you’ll die with. You can change your physical appearance with hormone therapy and surgery, but not your genetic makeup. Putting on a horse costume doesn’t make you Seabiscuit.
- Climate Change is the greatest threat to our national security – Terrorism, the human tide washing over our southern border, spiraling crime, anarchy in the streets, Red China’s military buildup – all are nothing by comparison. The earth’s climate has changed countless times over billions of years. That’s why Iceland is green and Greenland is ice. (It must have been all of the CO2 released into the atmosphere by Vikings driving SUVs a thousand years ago.) Fear is the greatest motivator known to man – a surefire way to generate appropriations and accumulate power, which is why welfare state politicians love it so.
The pirates didn’t have to lie to steal. They just took what they could carry away on their ships.
Schumer, Pelosi and the rest of their gang are pirates sans ships. Instead of the Jolly Roger, they hoist the DNC colors before budget debates. If there was political truth in advertising, they’d be forced to wear black eyepatches and carry cutlasses – the scurvy bilge rats.
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